Anyone else get this 80’s term? Maybe this will help, “I feel the need, the need for speed!”. Whoever thought that would be iconic one day. (Top Gun…if you didn’t get it!) Maybe something in my writing will be iconic one day. Ha…one can dream right?
I am sad that I haven’t been writing. I haven’t had that “release”. Where you feel that things and emotions are bottling up inside of you and you might explode if you don’t get it out…do you ever feel that? Well maybe you need to write. Let it out. Let it go. “Let it goooo!” (Little Frozen reference there)
It’s about to get REAL…
I can’t believe I haven’t written since November. I have been slacking. That’s probably also the last time I have felt “creative”. It’s so sad really. I was really into Stampin Up and thought I was good at it but now I’m not so sure. I guess when you don’t get much business and sales you start doubting yourself. I’ve done a lot of that…doubting…
Let’s take a poll, shall we?
How many of you have done home based businesses? (Hands raised…ME!) Now, how many businesses have you done? …. Let’s see…Mary Kay, Stampin Up, Premier Jewelry, Thirty-One, It Works… ok so that’s 5. That’s not too bad I guess. I guess most of us stay at home moms are looking for the next best thing. The next thing that will get us out of the house for a “break” for some “me” time. Because why? Because “Mommying” is HARD. Being a mom, I’ve realized after 5 years, is the HARDEST job, EVER. Sometimes probably just as stressful as being an air traffic controller. Well almost.
How do I know this? Because I think I lost 6 months of my life when I went out to lunch with my 2 toddlers today, by myself. Because I have 2 toddlers that are 19 months apart. I wasn’t by myself, actually, I was with a few other mom’s from my daughter’s pre-school. I said ok to the lunch invitation in hopes of meeting the “cool” moms, making new friends and just feeling accepted. I knew that it would be tough. I knew that Sophie would not want to sit in a “baby” chair and would try to leave the table after 3 bites. I knew that Wyatt would start acting cranky after barely eating anything. The kids had already been at school for 3 hours and I knew they just wanted food and a nap (or quiet time). So did I too. Want them to have nap time that is. Well, lunch went well, it was great meeting new people. They were helpful letting Sophia sit on her lap and watch our things when I had to take the kids to go potty, twice. Of course my son had to poop while we were there. I let him go by himself, but thank goodness one of the other moms was in there and came out to let me know my son needed me. Of course. All the while Sophie kept running away from the table. I finally strapped her into the baby chair much to her chagrin. I even pulled out the crayons, small tube of play-doh and coloring books to help keep my kids busy. (Since the cute paper puzzle dinosaurs the restaurant gave us were not working)
One of the moms commented, “you’re so good, look at you with your bag of stuff for the kids!”…Um well, that’s one way to look at it, put nicely. It’s more like, I know my kids are going to misbehave at some point and they’re gonna need some shit to do. Hahaha!
So that’s cute that other moms thing I’m prepared, that does make me feel good. But don’t think for a second it’s because I have my shit together, because trust me, I don’t.
As I left the restaurant $22 later and with 2 takeout boxes of leftovers of all the kids food they didn’t touch, I vowed that I wouldn’t go back to that restaurant without reinforcements…or any restaurant without a “play place” for that matter. We all decided to do that next time.
I don’t feel like I have “bad” kids, I just think that the timing was off for them, they were tired and also needed “something” to do. It’s hard keeping a 2-5 year old “entertained”. If you don’t believe me, just ask a mom or a dad of one.
Anyone, hope you enjoyed this writing and maybe got a little chuckle out of it. I know I did!
2 thoughts on “I Feel the Need, the Need to Write…”
Oh, My Dear Charlene,
I don’t have time for a loooong letter as I am too busy. 🙂 Don’t you want more little (kiddos, as you call them?) I had five (5) in 6 year. No twins and yes it is a LOT of work, for a long- long-long time. And You are doing a marvelous job by being a ‘super mom’. I’ve seen you with the ‘kiddos’ and how good you are with them.
NUFF said. No time, in these waning years to do anything but keep busy and be thankful for the years I DID have with my children, when they were young.
Sending you love and best wishes, for your spare time for venting and writing.
HUGS a bunch.
You’re the best and I love you Grams! Miss you. Thank you for your kind words ❤